I have talked about/trained for 2 different half marathons. Both times something came up that convinced me to quit on my goal. To be honest, at those times I was running to find something to keep me in shape and my husband ran...so I thought this would be something fun we can do together.
While training for my first half, I ran once with my husband. ONCE. And it was A-W-F-U-L. So bad. My husband is always supportive, but he also has been a runner his whole life. For him a mile is about 6 minutes and 30 seconds when he is jogging. To say my 11 minute running mile was killing him is an understatement. He was talking and trying to encourage me to go quicker, move my legs faster at the same time my body was convincing me it was going to lose limbs if I went any faster. With these very conflicting ideas and the fact that I was so out of breathe, talking was not on option so I reverted to caveman chat. Apparently my grunts and hand gestures were not taken to well by this wonderful man who was going at a snails speed, very uncomfortably, to show his love and support. He left me in the dust and was waiting with water for me when I got home about 20 minutes later. I was so embarrassed and exhausted.
I love my husband and I have always known he was in MUCH better shape then me, but now I had evidence and he had that new fond memory of me panting, grunting, and flipping him off. What a lovely first few months of marriage.
With this experience in my belt, I decided to NEVER run with him again. I found other friends to run with that were more my speed. I trained and learned to love running. Then I got shingles, and after being out for a month I was too far behind to run the 13.1 miles in 3 short weeks. So I went and cheered on my sweet training partner and had tears of joy as I watched her crossed the finish line. I was so proud of her! I knew she would be amazing, but even with my news of dropping out she was dead set on reaching her goals and I was so proud to be there to witness it!
The next year we starting training again. Then my knee was being a HUGE problem so we stopped training. She had already completed her goal of finishing a half marathon and was going to run with me...again I dropped out. I realize now it was way more mental than anything and the thought of me running 13.1 miles was a HUGE stretch, so when things got hard or uncomfortable I just said "Okay self, this isn't what you want is it? To hurt? Nah, I didn't think so. You can quit." And both times I listened. I understand shingles was not something I could have avoided at 27 and that listening to your body is important. But both times I just stopped.
I had goals, lots of them. But anytime anything got a little tough, I found myself quietly bowing out. I HATED that about myself. In 3 years I had put on over 30 pounds and just become this new me that was super insecure and doubted herself and her abilities. EW. (insert Jimmy Fallon's SNL character here) How?! When?! WHY!? I had so many questions as I realized this and reflected on the years past. I was always the dependent, helpful one when it came to others and I would jump at the chance to help anyone else out, I ended up forgetting about myself. I know I am not the first, last, or only woman to fall in this category. I am one in a million. (This is another post for another day).
I have done so much to get back in shape (lost that extra 30 lbs and more!), I tried countless diets and workout programs. I took up new activities (like running). I have found a wonderful balance and a great solution with Beachbody and their never ending programs, nutrition plans, and their products! I love this company and am so happy to be a part of it as a coach. BUT I still have goals that are sitting in my heart. I am learning to work on my goals daily. So, in 2019 I will be running a half marathon!
Stay tuned for my training plan, my trials and errors and an epic photo of me crossing the finish line!